Diary of a Mad Playwright Book Review

Diary of a Mad Playwright, by James Kirkwood, is an account of the show Legends, as told by a mad playwright. Though Terrence McNally says, in the introduction, that it is not good gossip, it is certainly something you can’t hear anywhere else. He talks about the original choices, Harvey Fierstein and Betty Bloolips (a drag performer), and how he thought that was insane, though no more insane than its ended up being. He talks about the insane process to get Mary Martin, she being frustratingly noncommittal. Getting Carol Channing was more straight forward. He talks about Kevin Eggers, the impossible, self-righteous, and jerky producer, the typical producer, Ahmet Ertegun (“The Dread Turk”), and the ever-absent director, Clifford. The director went off to England immediately after it opened, causing the show to re-lapse. Kirkwood had to somewhat “stand in” as director. He once got so mad at Kevin Eggers that he asked his underworld friends how much it would be to “disappear” someone. Mary Martin had an odd sort of mental block where she could not remember a line. They tried everything, even hypnotism. At last, for the first half of the run, her lines and blocking were fed her through a monitor in her ear. They opened to outstanding reviews for the actresses, but for the playwright they pulled no punches. Something like this would continue to happen in every town on their tour. They kept making changes, like adding another scene for the late Gary Beach, wherein he imitates Channing. Channing objected to this, but it was kept in the show. Eggers and he often disagreed about when it was appropriate to cut, and Kirkwood, after screaming and pouting, usually got his way. While both the ladies loved Kirkwood, they weren’t always so nice to each other. While, being co-stars, they would support each other, they did not become best friends. Channing disapproved of Mary not knowing her lines, and Mary of Channing audibly correcting her on stage. They realized they needed help, their director was in London, and no one else was taking power, so whoever was left sort of banded together, like survivors of a war. They all became directors, and it resulted in too many cooks in one kitchen. Eggers wanted to cut Martin’s mastectomy speech, the only serious moment in this comedy. Martin, Channing, and Kirkwood were against it. In fact, after Eggers suggested it, Martin announced she would no longer continue to play the show on Broadway. Even after an infuriated letter from Kirkwood, calling them ”two of the dumbest white ladies he’d ever met”, they still wouldn’t go on. They had several names in the pot, Debbie Reynolds, Elaine Stritch, Shirley MacLaine, the list goes on and on. However, none ever materialized. Kirkwood said his goodbyes to the cast, Annie-Joe Edwards, the first maid, who miraculously did a split, but occasionally acted sullen, Roxy Rokker, current maid, who was hired after long discussion, Gary Beach, crooked producer, who always got his laughs, Eric Riley, stripper, who everyone loved- he was a breath of fresh air, and Trish Garland, the choreographer who’s work was long and hard. He never got to say goodbye to the ladies, saying that at the same time there was “too much to say and not enough”. He writes that they may do another revival. In fact, they did, in about 2009, also a just-touring production. Will it ever see the light of Broadway? Who knows? Kirkwood has pictures in his book before each chapter, showing him going gradually insane. First has him in a straitjacket, next has him showing a book to a statue, next has him evilly grinning in a straitjacket, and finally, his Christmas card, him with the two ladies. He told Mike Nichols he was “thinking about doing the same thing this year, but with Xs grease penciled over their faces”. This book is not reading the play, it’s being James Kirkwood. He lets you get into his experience rather than just telling you about it. As McNally correctly states in his introduction, he allows you to feel for the characters, and you along with him are sad when the show does;t come to Ne work, frustrated with everyone in the cast and crew, and want it to succeed. It’s a book that’s important to read for every theater fan.